February 15 & 16 Devotional

I feel compelled to share a parts of the devotional from both February 15 and February 16 out of our "Jesus Calling" daily devotional by Sarah Young.
On February 15 is starts out, "COME TO ME with all your weaknesses; physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me."
On February 16 it starts out, "THANK ME for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.  Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.  Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells.  Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances.  Limitations can be liberating hen your strongest desire is living close to Me."
Wow!  We came to Him!  I came to Him!  I know that His presence is what gave me the comfort I needed the moment we were told that our son no longer had a heartbeat.  I FELT it!  I felt it as my husband and I hugged each other and cried!  I felt it throughout my labor.  I felt it when we held our son in the bed that evening.  I felt it when I had to hand Riley to Andrew to hand him to the nurse for our final goodbye (as I did not have the strength to be the one to give him away), and it was probably at that moment when I didn't want to admit His presence the most, but I cannot deny that He was there.  I feel His presence now, each day as I talk to Him, as I yell at Him, as I laugh at myself for yelling at Him.  Nothing is impossible with Him.  We ask and he answers.  The answer may not come at that moment, and the answer may not be the answer we desire, but we can find rest in the comfort of His presence!  How awesome is that?!  The devotional that day goes on to tell us to focus on Him, to take our mind away from our problems.  It says, "Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing."  Powerful words!  Inspirational words!  Peaceful, comforting words!  He is doing amazing things in our lives as we mourn, grieve, and celebrate the short life of our Riley.  I have to remember to ask Him to fill me with the words he wants me to share, to witness to others as He desires.  I need to give up control in my life and give it ALL to him.  Not part, not what I want Him to take care of at that moment, but ALL and NOW.  I know when I give up something, tell Him that he can control it and I will not try to any longer I feel better.  I have peace.  How amazing would it feel to have complete peace?!  To have complete comfort and trust?  Right now, when I give Him my grief, my heartache, my anger, I feel stronger.  I feel like He has a mission for me.  I know he has a mission for me, but for me to have the strength I need to successfully complete the mission, I need to give it all to him.
February 15th's devotional ends with 3 verses.  I encourage you to look them up if you do not have them memorized.  Luke 1:37, Ephesians 3:20-21, and Psalm 23:1-4.
February 16th's devotional touched me in the same way.  First, I need to remember to come to Him with my weakness, and then I need to thank Him for the condition that reminds me to be still.  It is in the quiet and still moments that we remember His presence.  His strength and power can be most effective in the weakness we have.  He does not promise us that the road will be easy.  He does not tell us that if we follow Him we will not suffer.  So why is it that we tend to only remember Him when we want something?  Why is it that we blame Him when the road is not easy but forget He is walking the road with us, that it is a road He said would be difficult?  I need to come to Him with every moment, but I also need to thank Him for the moments He reminds me He is there, even if it is a difficult moment.
February 16th's devotional ends with 3 verses as well.  I also encourage you to look them up.
Zechariah 2:13, Isaiah 30:15, and 2 Corinthians 12:9.

God, I come to you with the anger I feel for taking my son from us before we even had a chance to raise him, to watch him grow outside of my womb.  God, I come to you with the pain I feel when I see pregnant women now, and see my friends and family who have recently had a baby.  God, I come to you with the fears in my heart of bearing future healthy children.  And God, I come to you with the loss I feel when I see my husband hurting.  Please take the blame I feel, I give it to you!  But Lord, I thank you.  I thank you for allowing me to be Riley's mother.  I thank you for the mission you are leading us on through our heartache and tears.  I thank you for giving Andrew to me to be my husband, to be my best friend, and to be by my side as we worship you and learn more about your will for our lives.  I thank you for forgiving me of my weaknesses and reminding me to be still!  I thank you for the struggles I have had that help me make me a better person and a better witness for you.  Lord, I ask that you help remind those who are struggling with similar situations, no matter when they occurred, that they are reminded of your presence and that they remember how BIG you are.  I pray that you help guide them along the mission in their life from their own situation and continue to serve you.  You are an awesome God and I thank you for my life! Amen.