Almost a month ago, a dear friend told me about a Choose Healing event that was going to happen on the weekend of June 7-8. I was hesitant, but when I found out my calendar was free, I signed up to go. As the week progressed toward the event, I told Andrew that I was dreading being in attendance, but I felt called to go. I am so glad I went! What peace filled my soul the first evening. Very few people there knew my story. While I wish a could have had a friend or even Andrew go with me, I am now glad that I had some time alone in the pew, worshiping God and slowing letting my anger back into his hands. If I was next to someone, I may have been a little more reluctant. I was looking forward to returning on Saturday. I am happy to say that I left with a partial renewed heart. Some things will always be difficult, but I choose healing. I want to do things in honor of my handsome son and I want to do things for other women who unfortunately will someday be in my shoes, if they have not already.
One of the bible verses that struck the deepest with my soul was Ecclesiastes 1:9 "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." Stillbirth is not new. Miscarriage is not new. Infertility is not new. Abortion is not new. Whatever your loss may be, and mine is stillbirth, you will find yourself feeling alone and like no one understands. As I have mentioned before, people will say stupid things. And unfortunately for our broken hearts, we will watch others get pregnant, maybe time and time again. We will also witness others have completely healthy births and never experience a loss. Please don't let your loss be in vain. Please don't let your loss take you and keep you in the dark shadows of life. I am crawling out of those corners. Just because others, and myself, have said that this is normal for our grief, you can be the exception. Pray hard, pray long, and pray without outside distractions to stay in the light and keep the peace that passes all understanding. Read Philippians 4:7. You can have that peace. It is possible. I am finding it again. Praise Jesus!!!
There really is power in prayer. Without all of you praying for me, I would still be in the dark corners, not even looking for a way out. For that I am forever blessed and grateful!
Today in church, we sang "Never Once" by Matt Redman. Please let this song fill your soul when you find yourself feeling like you are alone.
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
No comments:
Post a Comment