A Mother's Worry

It has now been a little over 6 weeks since I gave birth to our precious Riley.  We have been covered by so much prayer!  God's grace has kept us in such peace!  What a blessing!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."           Philippians 4:6-7

Today, I learned that I have 1 mutation for the MTHFR gene.  I felt my heart stop as I heard this news.  It is a more mild form of MTHFR, but to hear that I have it at all was shocking.  That is also when the enemy started talking in my ear.  He has been saying things like, "Good luck getting pregnant again."  "Good luck carrying a child to term."  "Good luck ever having a healthy, baby on Earth."  And he says them with such bitterness and hate!  Unfortunately, my doctor was out and the nurse could not answer all my questions.  Therefore, what did I do? I turned to google...not a good idea!
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation."      1 Peter 5:7-10

I have to remember that God is in charge!  That he has this, that he has us!  My wonderful husband reminded me how quickly I clotted after delivering Riley.  He reminded me that the prescriptions I have to take if we are pregnant again will help.  I also talked to a dear friend who has MTHFR.  She dropped what she was doing to come pray with Andrew and I.  We are so blessed!
God is so much bigger than my MTHFR!
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"                             Matthew 6:25-27

I am human.  I have to constantly tell myself not to worry.  And I need reminders daily from loving friends and family about how BIG God is!  It is natural to worry.  To worry about future pregnancies.  I fear that it will take me years to hold a crying baby of our own in my arms.  How awesome is it when I have the moments I do not fear!  When I remember God is in charge!  How awesome is it when I let the Holy Spirit remind me that I am a gift from God!  He reminds me that I need to practice patience and to put my trust in God.  He reminds me of how blessed I truly am.  He reminds me that sometimes I get caught up in the materialistic world and need to put my sights on His Heavenly Kingdom.  A Kingdom that our son is living in right now!
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."                          Matthew 6:34

If you are like me, and desire in your heart to be pregnant and to one day soon hold  your own precious, crying, baby in your arms, please remember God is in charge.  We do not know the plans He has for us.  We only know that we can pray often throughout the day for His guidance as we live.
And, if you know me, please remind me of that as well!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”                   Jeremiah 29:11

Our church completed a Jericho walk this past week.  We were encouraged to walk our neighborhoods or anywhere we felt called each night.  On the 7th night, we met at our future church building grounds and walked the perimeter 7 times.  At the start of each lap we were given a slip of paper with a suggestion on what to pray about as we walked that lap.  God spoke very clearly to me that night, and I know I was stubborn and selfish and did not fully listen to his words!  I know now that he was preparing me for that phone call from my doctors office.  He told me to give it ALL to him.  I am ashamed to admit that I let the enemy talk louder to me during most that night.  The enemy pointed out all of my friends who were also walking.  The enemy said, "Look, God gave them children and you could not even keep your one!"  Tears flooded my eyes as we walked.  Even as I listened, and my heart sank looking at the children, I prayed for God to help me.  I told Andrew that it was difficult to watch the other children that night.  God kept reminding me how just earlier that evening I held the beautiful daughter of a dear friend and she sang along with the songs.  God reminded me how precious that was to hear. God reminded me that even though those children were not my own, they are gifts from God and to enjoy their presence to help heal my broken heart.  I hear him say, "Peace child.  Have no fear.  Do you not trust me?"
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"   Romans 8:31

Less of us God.  Less of me God.  More of You God!!! 
"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."        Psalm 25:5