Running a full marathon has been something I have wanted to try for awhile. I have run the Indianapolis Mini Marathon a couple times and run several 5K's. I decided I wanted to run one before I turned 40. That same day I saw someone post on social media about sale prices for the St. Jude's Rock and Roll Marathon in Nashville. I signed up, ordered a training book, and planned my 20 week training plan.
Training was tough the first couple of days as I had been working out, but not running regularly. After the first couple weeks my left knee that I had ACL surgery on over 10 years ago started hurting. I began physical therapy. But by week eight my knee did not hurt anymore. I was so excited at how well I was improving and happy that I was enjoying running. Then I realized I messed up my 20-week plan and I was 4 weeks ahead of schedule. In hindsight, I should have just kept pushing forward on the plan, but I decided to slow down and start the plan over.
For the first time that I can ever remember, I packed workout clothes on vacation, and I actually used them and stuck to my training plan. I was excited with how healthy I was feeling and seeing changes in my body for the better. Running was giving me a high, especially when I would go early in the morning while most of the world, including my children, were sleeping. I changed my music choices several times, but usually ended up with a Christian workout station on Pandora. This allowed me to also quiet some of my thoughts and listen to the meaning of the words and worship while running.
By week 14 I hit a wall. I was fighting some depression, anxiety, and stress that I had not really allowed myself to deal with or talk to anyone about. I skipped a run. I paused my gym membership so I could focus on my running as the mileages were adding up and I struggled with both along with my daily responsibilities. But my mind was stronger than my body and I would talk myself out of another run or three. Sometime in the following weeks I ended up with bulging discs in my neck. When I would try to run, I was in terrible pain and would have to walk more of my routes. I started going back for physical therapy.
Physical therapy was helping, I was starting to train again. But then our kids started taking turns getting sick and I would have to cancel my sessions. Two weeks before the marathon I debated on canceling or running the half and trying the full another time. It was cold outside, I was tired, I knew I had not been training like I should have. But I decided to push forward and rather than hoping for a finish time of my early weeks in training, I just wanted to be done in the 6 hour time limit.
Day of the race came. I could not believe it. I was happy it was finally here. I was sad I had not trained like I had begun and had planned to do up to this day. But I remembered how excited the crowd and entertainment made me on my mini marathons, so I hoped for the same. I had designed a playlist of music to help me if needed. And it was cold! Cold weather makes me have to urinate more. I lined up in my assigned corral about 7:00am. The first corral was released at 7:20am. My spot in my corral finally went through about 7:37am.
This is just some dialog in my mind as I completed the marathon:
Yay! Finally, here we go! Okay, 26.2 miles and I will be done. I can do this. Oh no! It is cold, my toes are starting to feel numb. We are not even a mile down the road. I have to pee! Oh look porta potty's, wait people are cutting in line, I can't start like this, I have to just keep running, I cannot loose time in the first porta potty line! So I keep going. I see mile 3. Really! Already, that isn't so bad at all. Whew, I am hot, I need to loose this jacket, but not until I find a porta potty. I should have brought a sweatshirt I didn't mind leaving on the side of the road. Mile 5, what!? An empty porta potty! Okay, I feel better, I can keep running. What a beautiful neighborhood! Those people are passing out candy like it is Halloween, how funny. Mile 8, I see Santa Claus cheering me on, and the Easter Bunny. I also see Elvis running. I don't think I am hallucinating just yet, but maybe. Mile 11/12 we split from the half marathoners and it is all the sudden quiet and lonely. I turn a corner and get to run in the Sounds Stadium. I see myself on the big guitar screen. I try to snap a running selfie, but I discover later that it didn't turn out. I meet another runner who is also running his first marathon and also because of turning 40. Soon, we run alongside the half marathoners again. But wait! They are done, there they go, listen to those cheers. Ok, mile 15, I can do this. This isn't terrible. My mind is starting to tell me I am done, but I cannot listen. Mile 17 into a park. It is quieter, the paths are more narrow. I can do this, think "pretty park". But it isn't the leaves haven't changed much or they are already cleaned up. There are no pretty ducks in the water. Oh no! I have to pee again. I don't see any porta pottys. Wait, why does that sign say 20? I was just at 17. I can't be doing too bad, look at these people running past me in the opposite way. I just need to keep going. Hang on, "U-turn"!? So the people I just passed, thinking I was on a good pace were actually ahead of me and already did this loop! Why does that sign say 23. What is going on? Who messed up? My watch says mile 19 something. Okay, I have to walk more because when I run, I feel like I may pee my pants. Mile 20, I find a porta potty. I see a text from my husband pop up about being at mile 20 for awhile and asking if I am ok. No time to respond, just need to keep going. Finally, coming out of the park. Yay! I want to see city life again. OH NO! Does that sign have an arrow to finish straight ahead, but for the SECOND LOOP, to the right? I stop and ask. Yes, the park is two loops. Ugh, now the signs I saw make sense. Oh no. My mind is shut down. I cannot run. I want to cry. I want to be done. I will never sign up for another full. I will stick to half marathons and 5K's. Look that woman is walking. I can walk. Just for a bit. Oh wait, she was just walking the park! Now she is leaving. Oh no, I have to run! Caught back up to these two women I had passed and who had passed me at multiple points during this race. I am doing good. Yay! End of park is ahead. Mile 23. Oh wait, that is the pick-up bus to pick up runners coming into the park. I have to keep going. My feet hurt. My back hurts. My legs are starting to hurt. Small jog, I can do a small jog. I am fighting tears. I want to stop. I cannot stop. I am at Mile 24. I cannot come this far and not finish. But I cannot run anymore. I can barely jog. I come up by another runner and ask him if he has done this race before. He has. I ask him if I can walk the last 2 miles at this point or if they will pick me up. He tells me I have done great and I won't get picked up at this point if I walk. He also tells me the double park route was new and messed with his mind as well. A man cheering on comes up to me to tell me that there is one more hill around Mile 25, but after that, it is all downhill. He tells me I have this and to keep going but save my energy for the hill. I jog some more, I fight tears some more. There it is the hill at Mile 25. I power walk it up the best I can. Mile 26 sign, I start jogging. Finally, the gates into the finish line. I pick up my pace some, almost done. Wahoo! I did it! There is my husband and our kids. How wonderful! I am so glad they are here. I crossed the line in just shy of 6 hours. I am happy. I am sore! I am slightly discouraged with my time, but trying to lean on the fact that I did it and in my later goal time knowing that I had not been training toward the last 6 weeks like I should have.
*We figured out that my husband thought I was stuck at mile 20 for awhile because of the double loop in the park. I think it was hard for the tracking system to understand the pass throughs.
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