The Meaning of Our Rose Tree

When we moved into our home there was a small tree in the front yard.  Every once in awhile, a part of the tree would bloom with beautiful white roses.  However, most of the tree does not turn green, does not have blooms, and makes the tree quite a sight in our front yard.  Andrew and I have discussed removing the tree.

We learned about a year ago that the tree was planted by the first home owners.  The tree was the wife's first Mother's Day gift.  We hated to just dispose of the tree since it had such a special meaning.  We put off deciding what to do with the tree.
Then, a few months ago, I looked at the tree and decided that by this fall or next spring when we re-do a lot of the landscaping the tree will go.  We offered it to the original homeowners if they want to dig it up and save it because of the meaning in the tree.  To me, it was just a tree that was half dead and half alive.

But wait!  A Mother's Day tree that is half dead and half alive?!  I found myself really studying the tree a few Sunday's back before we left for church.  I was suddenly filled with tears!  I can't get rid of this tree!  This tree is my life!  This tree represents what my motherhood status is at the current time.  What my motherhood status will be for the rest of my life!  Our son, our firstborn, is in Heaven.  Not with us on earth and we are heartbroken and missing him terribly.  Our second child is alive and growing inside of me.  The rose tree that is brown and lacks growth is the part of my being a mother that feels dead inside, the part of me that aches for my son.  However, the blooms, the green, that part of the tree represents the hope.  Our second child and our newest gift from God.  That growing part of the tree is also a reminder that while Riley is not living on earth, he is living.  While I may feel like a part of me has died, there is still a part of me alive.  And a part of Riley will always live in me.

If the first homeowner does want her tree back, I will happily give it to her.  However, if not, I am not sure when I will be ready to part with this tree.

I have thought of this tree a lot.  I have also thought about Heaven a lot lately.  When it is my turn to go home, it will not just be a reunion for loved ones who have gone before and my chance to meet our Father, it will be the first time I really get to meet our son.  The thought fills my eyes with tears and overjoys my soul.  Until then, I will live my life as I hope God desires and honor my husband, and our Riley.  I will also live to be a mother to this new child and all the other children God blesses us with.

Can you see the green and white rose blooms?
Can you see the dead, brown branches?

"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him."                                                     Romans 8:16-17