Sure, many people have heard the term 'doula', but do they know the wonderful services a doula can provide? Do they know that not only is a doula great for labor and delivery, but a blessing to have when you bring your baby home? Did you know that?
A few months before we delivered Nehemiah we were contacted by a dear, sweet friend. She explained that she was working on becoming certified as a postpartum doula and wondered if we would open our home to her services when we brought our son home. She needed some hours to help complete this certificate. This was the first time either of us had heard of a post-partum doula. We didn't take much time to think or discuss. Even though we would not be first time parents, we would be bringing a child back to our home for the first time. Andrew and I were preparing to spend a lot of time alone with our son, so I was surprised when we both said yes without much thought. I believe God knew that if I thought about it, I would over analyze the situation and Robin was just what we needed, so he helped speak the "yes, please!" out of us quickly.
Many people, including you, have prayed for us, wept with us, and celebrated with us from our birth of Riley to our birth of Nehemiah. Many of you wanted to come hold him and see him as soon as we came home. All of you respected our wishes, and let us have time bonding. Many of the first few weeks I was swept away with emotions. I was glad that I did not have to put on a face for company, but could embrace our new son even if his body was covered in my tears as I prayed over him, and mourned for what I missed with Riley. Also, with Riley, we planned on me returning to work as I could depending on his health. But, with Nehemiah, we planned on a 6-8 week maternity leave. However, after only 3 short weeks I had to return to work full time. Post pregnancy hormones combined with grief, disbelief, stress, and lack of sleep surrounded my every move. I remember Andrew finding me on the floor of his closet in his office at work rocking and nursing our son as I sobbed uncontrollably. I often did this throughout the night too as I knew that there would be no resting for me when our son rested. I felt like my time to mourn over Riley was slipping away and I was forgetting him. I was becoming frustrated with learning to care for a newborn yet selfish for those feelings because it was Nehemiah whom we prayed for to be a sibling to Riley. Even though my memories of Riley can be painful, I cherish them because they are the only memories I have. So, when I feel the normal feelings of a "new" parent, I feel guilty because I would give anything to have felt those feelings with Riley. So, there I was, a mom bringing home her second son, without a true idea of what to do and God gave us Robin!
Robin was a blessing, Robin is a blessing! She came to our home and made sure I had snacks while I nursed. She helped answer my nursing and pumping questions. She helped with laundry, swept our floors, washed our dishes. She showed us how to swaddle, and how to bathe. She loved on Gunnar! She was always calm, always polite, and always genuine. She NEVER asked to hold Nehemiah, but she willingly and lovingly took him as I handed her to him so that I could shower or nap. She came to the office and held him so I could get a little work done with two hands. She listened to me vent, listened to me cry, listened to me talk about my feelings. She encouraged ME, she cared for ME, she was there for ME. This was HUGE. Sure, I could have asked friends or family for help, but those who know me, know it is difficult for me to ask for help. And, let me be honest. Many, if not all of my friends and family would have asked to hold Nehemiah. Their first thought would have been on holding our rainbow baby. Robin's first thought was on MY health both physically and mentally. She was exactly what I needed. I explained that to her during one of her last visits to our home. I know that if I had asked someone to come help, it would have stressed me out more because I was not ready to let others hold Nehemiah, and I didn't realize what I needed, but Robin knew what I needed. I thank God for having her think of us when she was thinking of families.
I love to think back to the paths God delicately paved in my life. It was a few months before we opened the office. We took Gunnar to his veterinary appointment and met Robin, her children and their dog. I was pregnant with Riley. We had no idea that God would take Riley home, bless us 3 months later with another pregnancy, and keep Robin in our lives to provide us with her services when we brought our second son home. Robin, I cannot thank you enough for the gift you gave us. The advice and guidance you provided with remain with me.
I STRONGLY recommend a postpartum doula for anyone bringing a baby home. Family and friends are always willing to help as well, but there is something about the care of a doula that comes guilt and stress free! If you are in the Spring Hill, TN area, look up Mother Well - Professional Postpartum services on Facebook. Also, gift certificates for a post-partum doula make great baby shower gifts!
