October is a National Month for many things. October is mostly known for Breast Cancer Awareness. However, this month is now even more special to me due to it being Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
During the month of October of 1998 President Reagan Proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Not many people know that President Reagan also lost a child. His child lived for one day. Maybe this is why his proclamation is so touching to me, not for my own loss or the losses my friends and loved ones have endured, but because he also experienced a loss. It means a lot to me to have someone make a proclamation for something in which he or she knows what others have felt and experienced. He was not one who said "I know how you feel" only to never have felt it...he felt it!
Many people never share the story of their loss. Many people grieve in silence. Everyone does not grieve in the same way. For me, I have learned that many who have grieved before me, who grieved in silence, wish they had not. Maybe the world is changing and people are discovering they do not have to be quiet or pretend to be alright any longer. A dear friend sent me this quote she read somewhere, "I will stop grieving when I stop breathing". I cannot tell you how true and honest that quote is.
I am not going to grieve in silence, however, I am not going to let my grief overcome me. I am going to celebrate the life that was. I am going to celebrate and talk about Riley when opportunities arise. I am already thinking about all the different ways this child in my womb will learn about his or her big brother! I am currently reading Angie Smith's book, "Mended". Angie talked about her precious Audrey and how she wanted Audrey to have "weight". I want Riley to have weight. My father spoke at Riley's memorial about how we all have a purpose from God. He said at the end that Riley fulfilled his purpose. That he had a job well done. I am learning however, that Riley still continues to work even though he resides in Heaven!
I ask this month that you not only make sure you have had your mammograms and check your breasts for lumps. I ask this month that you not only pray for those who have fought or are fighting the battle of breast cancer. But I ask that you also pray for those who have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss. Pray for those who you may not know have had miscarriages. Pray for those who are suffering in silence. Pray for those who are in the dark and suffering in public from their loss. I have been in the dark. It is a scary place. I thank God for not leaving me and helping me to find the light again. I thank God for those who never left my side during that time and for those who prayed harder for me than they may have prayed in their entire lives.
Even more important this month to me, may be the date of October 15th. A wonderful women named Robyn Bear founded www.october15th.com. She also helped recognize October 15th as a National Day to remember our lost babies. On this day, please turn your car lights on as you drive around. On this day, at 7pm, no matter what time zone you are in, please light a candle and let it burn for at least 1 hour. If everyone lights a candle at 7pm and allows it to burn for 1 hour, then we will have a "continuous wave of light" all over the world on October 15th in Remembrance of our lost babies. You should check out Robyn's website and look for local walks and activities. I have been blessed to help plan a local event in our area on October 15th.
I like to think this month our babies are dancing in heaven as more people become aware of how many pregnancy and infant losses occur around them. Our babies are just as anxious to hug us as we are to hug them! But Praise God that my Riley is in the safest place He can be and it He is one of my children I will not worry about daily. How blessed am I to have my son be with Our Father!
